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01/02/2007: "Hotel Room.."
So here I am sitting in a shitty travelodge hotel room 1 mile north of SFO airport less then 12 hours from boarding the plane to Japan and I'm nervous as hell. I've been to Japan before, 3 times actually, but this time is much different. The idea of leaving my home country for years at a time is very disturbing. Many people have been calling me lucky and saying how much fun it's going to be but I can't help but think of America.
After about a month you really start to miss the little things you never realize are even there. Getting a burger at a restaurant and having it taste like a burger. Hanging out with friends you've known for years on the weekends. Hell, speaking your language and having people understand you. They all go away when you leave, and it really starts to eat at you. It's more than that though. Everything is so incredibly different; it's like a sensory overload 24/7. You go outside, streets looks different, go into a convenience store, you dont recognize any of the foods, go to a magazine stand, you dont understand what you see, watch the news, you hear almost nothing of news from home. It's alot like being in a dream world you can't wake up out of.
I remember on the longest stay I had there prior to this one (a mere 3 months), just about the 2nd month I started dreaming like I was living my life back home. Problem is, when I woke up, I'm not home and it gives an unrelenting feeling of homesickness.
Who knows though, I might just be nervous. Hopefully it wears off in the first few days I'm there. One thing is for sure though, I've been preparing for this for a long time and I'm more than ready to go and work my hardest. I'm not one to give up cause im scared so I intend to see it through no matter how hard it gets.
As for the next 12 hours, I'll be watching Bleach and putting music into my mp3 player to be ready for my first 2 hour commute home by train. I have alot to look forrward to. Lord I hope my host family isn't a bunch of psychos. anyway, good night and I'll have pics of my leaving wednesday. wish me luck!